Thoughts For Your Hole- Five Things Your Parents Won’t Tell You About Sex by Smith Q. Johns

Sausage and Eggs

Photo by Caroline Smith

1. The Rusty Trombone –

The original. Some of you may remember a time when ALL parents taught their kids about this one. If you’re going to (trum)bone, this is where to start.

2. The Musty Trombone –

Also known as the “Must-Trum.” If you’re into getting wild but still into the elderly, this one’s for you. Google it, you won’t be disappointed.

3. The Trusty Rum Bone –

“Old Faithful” they’ve called it (it’s also been called “Tricky Bon Bons”). Great for quickies. The “early-bird special,” if there ever was one.

4. The Krusty Trumbone –

Not for the faint of heart. And if you must know anything about this one, know that “Krusty” is the understatement of the century.

5. The Krispy Trim Bone –

Good for weekends and only for the pros. DO NOT try without proper equipment. Can cause serious injury or death.

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