Thoughts For Your Hole- Excerpts from my Court Case before I was sent to Jail, by Smith Q. Johns

By Smith Q. Johns

by Smith Q Johns

Your Honor, members of the jury, in closing, I have this to say:

If the world is my oyster then Uranus would be significantly closer, right? Because proportionately our world isn’t really that far from Uranus. And if worlds and Uranus’s were that small they could fit in our pocket, right?

In which case, would Uranus be just another oyster or would Uranus still be Uranus? It would be weird if the world truly was my oyster and Uranus was still Uranus.

But for argument’s sake, let’s say that Uranus doesn’t become someone’s oyster, then really WHAT IS Uranus in that particular situation? Are all the planets and everything combined just one oyster?

Which leads me to my next question, whose Uranus is it really? Is it my Uranus? His Uranus? Her Uranus? Is it their Uranus?

I would like to think that it’s our Uranus.

And that is why, your Honor, members of the jury, I am NOT guilty stealing those oysters.


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