Thoughts For Your Hole: File Under: Ignorance is Almost Bliss, by Smith Q. Johns

Amos 3:3

By Kyle Tyson

I have a friend that I’m very fond of that has maybe a larger quantity of silly sayings and traditions than the rest of us; traditions that usually just make me think, “Okay, whatever you say,” when I hear them. But one of them (that I still think in some ways is one of the silliest) has now become tattooed in my brain and I have actually come to appreciate it a lot more.

“Pain is just weakness leaving the body,” has now become my mantra (well at least 69% of the time). I don’t actually really believe it to be true per say, at least most not all of the time, but I do believe it can be good to try and believe it, because the worst part about pain is well, the pain part. I don’t know about you but for me pain sucksssssssss.

I actually spent a lot of time thinking about all this psychologically and came to the conclusion that I do believe that in a lot of those moments where you’re in pain, that if you fool and distract your dumbass brain you can sometimes (maybe often) mentally deal with the situation better. If you think of the process (of having diarrhea all day for example*) as a necessary process that in the end will make you feel better, then you might look at things differently and you might not feel as shitty (no pun intended); which is in a way the same as weakness leaving the body, because you are getting stronger. You’re ignorant, and maybe slightly nutty about the situation, but you’re feeling better. (And if you have diarrhea you actually probably feel extra weak but Jesus, I’m not a doctor or anything, I’m just trying to help you out.)

I think with some pain it’s worth trading a little sanity to gain a little comfort. I know when I’ve been painfully puking up my ancestors that I would have been totally happy relieving the pain any way I could, including maybe running outside and doing a dance half naked and giving the mail person a Wet Willie, or maybe even a dry one (you ever heard of a Dry Wilma?).

So in the act of learning to fool ourselves, maybe in that way the weakness is going away. That weakness we have of focusing on pain, often letting it control us mentally/our actions, and not letting ourselves realize how strong we can potentially be, etc. and so on, maybe in that way the weakness is leaving the body.

So in the same way that there is an endless supply of potential pain, maybe there is also an endless supply of potential strength, which maybe can be accomplished by fooling our brain, by telling ourselves stupid quotes which may not even be true.

Someone cut me off while driving recently and yes it was EXTEMELY painful and yes I wanted to yell at them, but I told myself that an alien landed at their house that night and probed them and they never ever ended up cutting anyone off in traffic again; that and now they walk funny and cough up raisins when they sneeze. I’m telling you this can work.

Most of us don’t change our perspective, unless it’s actually forced upon us. So if I tell you to think about your pain as weakness just leaving your body you will probably not do that. However, if you’re in enough pain and have gotten to a point where something is so bad that you need a distraction maybe you will find filed in your head some nonsense like this that might help.

If you got shot for example… actually I’m going to stop there. I was going to try and make this drawing here match the story I’m writing but I have to be honest, the drawing is unrelated. My brother drew it as a kid and I just love it so much. Just look at it. I’m laughing out loud right now. And what the hell is that Bible verse?

*(I don’t want to go too far in depth with good distractions for diarrhea as that’s a whole other can of worms, literally, you know, and it’s also something I’ve written a lot about; a whole book’s worth. I’m not just going to give away all of my diarrhea tips for free.)

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